Where Do I Go From Here God?
So the last few weeks have been interesting to say the least. I have found myself in a place of unplanned transition and unknown waters. I have always had some sort of idea where God was leading me and what He was asking of me. In the last few weeks this has changed and I have had to really wrestle with God on this idea of where do I go from here. My position at the church I attend as the Associate Pastor has been dissolved because of financial reasons. I completely understand why it was eliminated and I fully agree with the decision that was made. It's been a rough season for many reasons for my church. However, we know God is moving, refining and transforming our hearts and lives and our community of believers. So in one aspect I fully agree with the decision that was made but it left me in a place of rediscovering where it is that God wants me and how He wants me to serve Him. I have to admit I have had moments of uncertainty and the feeling of being lost. I felt as if I had lost a part of my identity and my place in the church. It was in these moments and taking time to really listen to God that He has settled a peace upon my heart that could only come from Him. I took a few days and went to the mountains by myself to pray and dig into Scripture and allow my heart to really be quiet before the Lord. This does not come easily to me. As many of you, if not most of you, my life is hectic with expectations and jobs to do from all sides of life. I knew I needed to get away from the aching pain in my heart of "this is not how it's supposed to be" and "I feel so lost" to quiet my soul and actually listen to the truth that God wanted to reveal to my heart. I still have not come up with some grand idea for my future but as I was in the mountains I was reminded time and time again of the saying I recently put up on my wall behind me in my studio from Psalm 46, "Be still and know that I am God". The Lord has me in a place I haven't really ever had to stay in for very long before because I always "knew" where I was going. The place I am in is one of the many hallways of my life journey. It's a place between two doors, one that has closed and another somewhere in the future that God will open for me. It is here in the hallway that I need to hold firmly onto the hand of God and allow Him to guide me towards the right door. Usually my hallway moments have been a short jaunt of transition but this one seems like it is going to go on forever. I know this isn't true and that God will open the right door at just the right time for me so in the mean time I find myself in the hallway. There is a saying I have come across many times recently that I had never heard before and I had to laugh knowing that this is when God would bring it to my attention. It says this, "Praise God in the hallway." My time for now is a time of reflection, of waiting, of being still knowing I can trust the leading of the Holy Spirit in my life as the Lord prepares me for the door that will be coming that He will open for me in my future. So as I go through this waiting time I need to constantly remind myself of how much God loves me and I can (and will) praise Him for His goodness and closeness in the midst of the hallway! My eyes are firmly fixed upon Him so that I don't step through the wrong doorway but instead I am grasping on to the hem of His garment, staying as close to Him as possible so I don't loose my way. So if you are in a hallway of life right now and you are questioning for yourself, "Where do I go from here God?" continue to praise the Lord for the time of growth that He is allowing to have in your life and let Him lead the way. Stay close to Him and He will guide your path. But keep moving ahead in that hallway. Don't be afraid of what that long, dark hallway may look like because right around the corner may be just the door that God wants you to go through and know that in the meantime He is right there with you. So praise His holy name for He is good and He will never leave you nor forsake you because He loves you!